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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28216413">But You Love Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiGi/pseuds/LiGi'>LiGi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Merthurweek 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Era, Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Love Confessions, M/M, Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Sweet Merlin (Merlin), Warm and Fuzzy Feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:27:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28216413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiGi/pseuds/LiGi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Merthurweek2020 Day 1<br/>Merlin was injured saving Arthur's life. Arthur goes to check he's alright and accidentally lets slip his feelings...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Merthurweek 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Merthur Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>But You Love Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Merthurweek2020 - Day 1 - "You're an idiot." "But you love me." + Fluff</p><p>(If you recognise the first half of this, it's because it is borrowed from another of my ficlets posted on tumblr, plagiarised from myself only. The second half is all new for this challenge!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur opened the door to Gaius’s chambers, knocking as an afterthought once he was already halfway through the door. Gaius looked up from his work bench, where he was making some concoction or other with funny smelling herbs. He bowed his head to Arthur.</p><p>“Sire. What can I help you with?”</p><p>Arthur moved over to the table, his eyes drifting to the door to Merlin’s bedroom, which was propped open with a pair of scruffy boots.</p><p>“How is he?”</p><p>Gaius sighed, setting his pestle down and bracing his hands on the bench.</p><p>“He should make a full recovery, Sire. He’ll be in pain for a while, but there will be no lasting damage.”</p><p>Arthur let his head fall into his hands, which he only now realised were shaking. Every time the prospect of losing Merlin hit him it hurt a little more than the last time. And there shouldn’t be so many times anyway. What other servant nearly died on a regular basis just to protect their master?</p><p>“He shouldn’t have done it.”</p><p>Gaius pursed his lips. “He feels it is his duty, Sire.”</p><p>“No.” Arthur let his hands drop from his face, balling slightly into fists. “It is his duty to clean my rooms, not jump in front of crossbows!”</p><p>Gaius shrugged and picked up his pestle again.</p><p>“Can I –” Arthur started, but Gaius nodded and gestured to Merlin’s door before he could even finish the sentence.</p><p>Arthur was across the room and up the steps in four strides. He froze just inside the doorway, looking down at Merlin’s sleeping figure on the bed.</p><p>He was on his side, pillows wedged either side of him to stop him rolling onto his front or back. The blanket had slipped down and Arthur could see the tightly wrapped bandages around his torso, a small spot of blood seeping through the white cloth high on his chest, a matching one on his back. The shallow cut on his forehead was clean – it didn’t look so bad now that there wasn’t blood streaming down his face – but his eye was starting to bruise and swell.</p><p>The whole room smelt like yarrow and sage.</p><p>Arthur took a step forwards, one hand reaching involuntarily towards Merlin. He didn’t want to disturb him, but he desperately wanted to see him awake and talking to know he was alright.</p><p>He eyed him closely. His chest was rising and falling slowly and evenly. He looked peaceful. Arthur gently lifted the blanket and pulled it higher over Merlin’s shoulder, tucking it under his chin. And if he let his fingers brush Merlin’s cheek as he took his hand away who was going to know.</p><p>“Gaius?” Merlin whispered, cracking the non-bruised eye open. It flew wide as he spotted Arthur and he tried to raise his head. “Arthur!”</p><p>“Shh, don’t move,” Arthur crouched quickly so he was at Merlin’s eyelevel. His hand landed on Merlin’s cheek again, purely to stop him from trying to lift his head, he told himself.</p><p>“Wha’ y’doin’ here?” He sounded groggy, his one-eyed gaze roving over Arthur’s face as if searching for answers.</p><p>“I came to check on you, idiot,” Arthur said fondly, letting his thumb stroke Merlin’s cheekbone.</p><p>“Y’don’t hafta check on me. ‘M fine.” He gave a weak smile, moving his head slightly so Arthur’s fingers rubbed through the hair above his ear.</p><p>Arthur huffed a small disbelieving laugh.</p><p>“Merlin. You took a crossbow bolt straight through your chest. The tip was sticking four inches out of your back.”</p><p>Merlin frowned.</p><p>“‘S’at why my shoulder hurts?”</p><p>“Yes. Gaius said you were extremely lucky it missed your lung.”</p><p>“But it also missed <em>you</em>,” Merlin said smugly, like he was actually pleased with himself for getting shot instead of Arthur. He pulled one hand out from beneath his blanket, wincing as he reached forward to pat Arthur’s chest.</p><p>Arthur caught Merlin’s hand before he could slide it back under the blanket, holding it cupped between both of his own.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said softly. “But please don’t risk your life like that again.”</p><p>“I’ll always risk my life to save yours, Arthur,” Merlin whispered.</p><p>Arthur sighed, his thumb running over Merlin’s knuckles. He knew how true Merlin’s words were. He had proved over and over again how much he meant them. He’d thrown himself in front of Arthur so many times, both literally and metaphorically. His stupid loyalty almost killing him too many times for Arthur’s heart to cope with.</p><p>“You’re an idiot.” He couldn’t stop the words spilling from his lips. He pressed Merlin’s hand to his mouth to stop himself saying anything else.</p><p>“But you love me,” Merlin said, still slightly dazed sounding, his one eyelid drooping.</p><p>Arthur studied his face, the tiny upwards quirk to his lips, the sharp lines of his cheekbones. The unruly mess of his hair. He looked away, not trusting his heart that had started beating so much faster at the word love. He looked instead at Merlin’s hand, cradled in his own, pale and dry, his knuckles cracked from hard work. He kissed one knuckle without thinking.</p><p>“Yeah, I do,” he said absently.</p><p>Merlin blinked. His eyebrows scrunched down into a confused frown.</p><p>“Wait. What?”</p><p>Arthur realised what he had just said. He panicked. He didn’t want to take the words back. He wanted Merlin to know how he felt. But he didn’t want to scare him, or spoil the friendship they had. He let go of his hand, running his fingers through his own hair as he stared at the wall.</p><p>“Ah. Um, I –”</p><p>“You <em>do</em>… love me?” Merlin pushed himself up, wincing. He prised open his other eye to fix Arthur with a stare.</p><p>“Er –” Arthur wanted to pull back, to run away. He stood up so quickly he almost tripped on a pair of breeches left strewn across the floor. But also he very much wanted to stay here with Merlin, with his words out in the open. He fidgeted, his hands balled into fists, his palms sweaty.</p><p>“You love me?” Merlin said again firmly, leaning on his uninjured arm, which shook slightly.</p><p>“I –”Arthur paused, bit his lip and continued to stare at the wall. Then took a deep breath and nodded. “I do. Yes.”</p><p>A crooked grin spread over Merlin’s face.</p><p>“I love you too, Arthur,” Merlin said easily. “With all my heart.”</p><p>Arthur blushed. He swung his arms awkwardly, chewing his lip, ignoring the fact his eyes had started to sting with tears.</p><p>“Oh… yes well… try not to die then.”</p><p>Merlin laughed. And the sound made Arthur grin. It was like a reflex, he didn’t think about it, it just happened at the sound of Merlin’s laughter. Happiness came with that sound. He looked down and met Merlin’s beautiful blue eyes.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered. He wasn’t sure any sound actually came out of his mouth, just the puff of air as he mouthed the words, but it didn’t matter. Merlin was beaming, his hand reaching for Arthur again.</p><p>He dropped to his knees, grasping Merlin’s hand fiercely, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it again. His heart felt light and fluttery, his stomach doing flips, but looking at the soft smile on Merlin’s face meant the world to him. He kissed his hand again.</p><p>Merlin let out a yawn that cracked his jaw, making him wince and screw his eyes shut. The hand not cradled in Arthur’s flew to the bandages on his chest.</p><p>Arthur winced in sympathy, taking in the hurt and tiredness still present on Merlin’s face beneath the joy. It all seemed too much for him after his recent injury.</p><p>“You need sleep, Merlin,” he told him gently.</p><p>He tried to subtly wipe his sweaty palm against his breeches before reaching to cup Merlin’s cheek. Merlin’s eyes fluttered slightly to try and stay open.</p><p>“Hmm…” Merlin nuzzled his face into Arthur’s hand.</p><p>“I’ll stay?” Arthur offered.</p><p>“A’thur,” he said sleepily, nodding.</p><p>Arthur helped him lie back down, letting his fingers run through Merlin’s hair when he whimpered with pain. He stuffed the pillows back on either side of him, pulling the blanket up to his chin again and made sure it was all tucked in comfily. Merlin caught his wrist and pulled his hand back up to his face. Then kissed his palm and tucked his hand under his cheek again. Arthur smiled.</p><p>He leant forward and placed the gentlest of kisses to Merlin’s forehead, then settled down as comfortably as he could on the hard floor with one arm trapped under Merlin’s head.</p>
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